I cannot explain all of the physiological things that are happening to boys as they hit the early teen years, well, I guess I could…but, yeah, um, I choose not to even think about it. What is even more remarkable at that age is how, even the brightest, smartest and most focused of boys somehow end up in a few years of dragging their knuckles.
The head in the clouds syndrome is one that anyone who knows an early teenage boy can appreciate. You will never see any other group collectively spend more time staring at their feet. So, if you have pre-teen boys, listen up.
One of the first things you will become aware of is a certain odor that takes over your entire house. Trust me, you do not have rodents, the trash can doesn’t need to be disinfected, no need to call the exterminator, something did not in fact die in the wall. The odor is in fact oozing out of the pores of the young man that occupies your home. Now, don’t think that a quick shower will solve this. First, the concept of quick and shower together are not ones that these men can grasp. Secondly, be forewarned that you do need to perform periodic checks to make sure that they are indeed using soap. I know of someone whose son took a shower, and failed to notice that the soap was still neatly wrapped inside the cellophane packaging it had come in. When questioned about the evident lack of suds…a grumbly “whatever” was the response… but, alas, I divert, the odor cannot be washed off. Embrace it for the short time that it will grace your home.
Read more: This is What Will Happen if You Apply Onion on the Neck Before Going to Bed
Your world is also about to be invaded with the most bizarre conversations of your life. Conversations, that if they were the script of a movie or TV sitcom you would laugh, but, say…nahhh , that could never happen!
The following REALLY happened. I will not give names to protect the innocent… And please know, these are just a couple of highlights.
One day, I heard a strange noise towards the back of my house. After a brief investigation I see “Johnny” sticking his head through the dog door. When confronted, he simply and innocently said. “Oh. Uh. Duh. Sorry. I didn’t think you were home and I wanted to see if I could fit through the dog door” As he started to retreat backwards, I said, “well… let’s see if you can fit.” His 6’ 5” 120lb body did indeed make it though. I signed him up for ceiling fan cleaning duty for the next month.
“Hugo” came home from school disgruntled. He broke one of his flip flops. He took the pair out of his gym bag to show his dad. He actually threw the broken one out, which was an amazing feat (pardon the pun) but then proceeded to put the unbroken single flop BACK into his bag. When questioned, he frustratingly explained that THAT flip flop was in deed fine! So the dad of course asked if he was planning on losing a foot or purchasing a left flip flop on eBay, which was met with the classic “whatever” response.
I think my favorite, of all times, is when “Jimmy” came home from school. I proceeded to ask if he was hungry, which was a stupid question, because teenage boys are virtually ALWAYS hungry. So, I went on to list every food item in the house. The list was quite long as I had just went shopping. Would you like cookies, some toast, a sandwich, some turkey, crackers and cheese, how about some peanut butter celery, we have pretzels, ice cream, oranges (not one word of response to this entire list, perhaps a grumble of two but no actual words) how about an apple? Suddenly, “Jimmy” perks up. “Nah, an apple is just too much effort.” He replies. “Too much effort? What are you talking about?” I pepper back. “I challenge you to name a more convenient food. You don’t have to open any packaging, you can choose not to wash it, and you technically can consume the entire fruit so there is nothing to throw out. You cannot have a lesser effort food.” After a few moments of apparent contemplation, he mumbles back: “The banana” “The banana is less effort, because you do not really have to chew” I’m embarrassed to say, I took the conversation further, but will spare you the insanity of the details.
So many more stories could be told. What are some of your favorite “foot staring” moments? Remember to enjoy each moment and every day. Everything is a once in a lifetime experience. Cheers